My Weblog

I Shall Believe...

in the power of forgiveness.

Thank you Robin, for the beautiful reminder.


Healing hugs,

The dance I do in my dreams...

I <3 this video (especially at about the 1:57 mark)!

XOXO,

Goodbye Summer...

I will miss you...

as I put away the beach gear, tuck away the pool towels, the sunscreen, and the tiny pairs of girly-pink swim goggles that have been floating around the house. After tonight, I'll shift from my lackadaisical Summer mood into full force Fall mommy mode as we prepare for yet another school year. I can't believe that it's already time to once again pull out the lunch boxes, hang the backpacks by the door, sharpen pencils, and begin filling out the loads of PTA paperwork that's waiting for me.

As my three gorgeous girls enter kindergarten,3rd, and 10th grade...I am so grateful for all the beautiful time that we were able to spend hanging out together this summer.

As the bright sun rises, I'll pray that they may be filled with courage and comfort as they face the unfamiliarity of a new classroom, teachers, friends, and school time routine. My heart and prayers will be with all the other little angels on earth who might also be going to sleep tonight with butterflies fluttering in their belly so that they too, may awaken feeling extra supported and loved.  

My deepest thanks to all the powers that be for making this summer such an incredibly healing, magnificent, and magical one.

I will keep it in my heart forever. :-)

In love and summer light,
 

Sand & Surf...

Beautiful Ones~

Hello again...how might you be? Fabulous and glowing, I hope. I'm settling in back at home after many weeks of what seemed like continuous travel. I'm blessed to say that I had an amazing time swimming in the emerald sea and hanging out on the beach with my handsome hunnies. 

In case I haven't  mentioned it before, you may not know that during the months of May through August, I trade my french manicured toes and tanned legs in for a sleek and sexy fin. I have long considered myself to be a Mermaid of sorts, but my most recent time in the ocean undoubtedly proves what I have long suspected.

Perhaps my love of the water can be explained by the fact that I once lived in majestic hills of Lajolla, California and grew up spending long weekends cruising the bay in our family's boat. Many of celebrations and holidays were spent at the Newport Beach Yacht Club with the ocean creating the perfect backdrop for many of the special memories that I hold dear.

Thinking back to my early adolescence in Southern California makes me remember many *Salt Life* memories...like, my first elementary school crush named Dustin. He was an adorable beach boy, with his constant chapped lips, and perfectly sun-streaked long blonde hair. He lived in a variety of Local Motion t-shirts, tan board shorts, and flip flops..when he wasn't running around barefoot. The coolest thing ever was that his mom was a professional trainer/rider of Killer Whales who worked at Sea World. I'll never forget him having to miss school when she accidentally got her leg stuck in the blowpipe of Shamu which broke her femur bone in several places! Another random thought...is that like every other Valley girl living in So Cal during the 1980's, I wore a dainty little pinky ring with a charm in the shape of a sand dollar that dangled from my finger as talked with my hands. (Sigh...my, how quickly I digress!)

Now in my 30's, my latest excursion to the sea was just what I needed to help me get back to being me. The real me.That free spirited and care free beach bum with her face a la natural and her toes dug deep into the earth. The girl who knowingly jumps fierecly into the ocean at dusk aka *shark:30* (Picone slang for 6:30ish when the Bull and Tiger sharks feed) and when others might wisely prefer to sit safely at the shore. Even with the threat of stinging Jellyfish, smelly seaweed, and other unknown creatures lurking beneath the surface after dark...there is something so magical about being invited into a world so different than your own. The feeling of your hair, wet with water, floating in all directions with eyes closed tight as you completely surrender yourself to the sea.  The effortless travel that comes by trusting the current to carry you for as long as you will let it. The anticipation you feel in knowing that in any second a wave could break and unexpectedly land upon you, should you not open your eyes in time to welcome it. How small we all feel in such vast, deep, and unknown waters.

Being bathed in the sea-foam green sea with sand beneath my toes is more than magical to me...it's heavenly. Year after year, I escape to the ocean as if it is my home away from home. Words fall short when I try to describe the beauty and the awe I feel when witnessing the amazing sunsets that paint the sky with streaks of pinks, purples, and orange. Never have I ever felt more nurtured or loved by the universe then when I playfully drifted in the ocean while glistening sparkles of light danced off the water's surface at dusk.

 On most days, I swam, splashed, and played for hours on end and dreaded having to make my way back to dry land. My spirit felt wild and free while I floated against the oceans waves and soaked up the warm sun. Even in the hours after the sun went down, I was hesitant to leave the comfort and familiarity of the ocean. I felt so wild and free...that I shed my swimsuit  (like the true Mermaid I am), to swim without the annoying constraints of having a wet bathing suit clinging to my body. You haven't really lived until you have swam nude in the ocean under the silver of the moon. Even more spectacular, is to do so on the eve of a Tropical Storm, when the waves and wind are wild and strong and while lightening flickers over the night sky like a blinking strobe light flashing over a dark dance floor.  

It was a magical time, indeed.  As if the beauty and power of the sea wasn't enough, there was more to savor from the balcony of our beach front condo. Not only did we see a vibrant double rainbow that stretched across land and sea, but also dolphins that playfully swam at the shoreline during sunrise as if putting on a show. There were countless shooting stars that danced across the late night sky, as David & I camped out on the beach on top of a cozy blanket. We had so  many special moments full of love, laughter, and fun, that it's hard to believe that they all occurred during one quick and somewhat spontaneous trip. To say the least, it was a very healing, bonding, and sacred time for the little tribe of our family, and one that I trust will remain etched in our ocean loving hearts forever.  

With salty Mermaid kisses and sandy hugs,

 

PS. Earlier this year, David started a blog dedicated to me in effort to document a somewhat challenging/growing time in our relationship. The words of his latest post touched my heart and made me smile wide...

Monday, August 17, 2009

I Met a Mermaid This Week

I met a mermaid this week...

She had long brown hair and the figure of a goddess. Her eyes were electric blue against the backdrop of the beautiful ocean, but with a fire in them that remains unmatched of any eyes that I have seen in my days. As I came upon her in the water, I reached out to her and we embraced in the salty surrounds as the ever-moving ocean kissed both of our bodies.

She was soft to the touch as I held her close to my body, yet strong as the awesome force of the waves that I know so dearly, having spent much time in the ocean. She playfully swam away from me on occasion as if to declare her independence, but always returned so as not to allow distance to spoil our rendezvous under the sun.

She giggled a lot and the sound of that laughter made my heart smile and had my senses dancing with every echoing tone of her voice. We ducked under the waves together and hid underneath the water's surface...more laughter as we would come up for air as I would have to breathe if I were to stay in my human reality and not permanently slip away into the ocean blue along with her.

At night, we danced on the beach in the latest of hours under the moon and the stars, the wind blowing her hair in many directions and the starlight glistening in her eyes as we spoke to one another...mermaid language being the language of love, of course...and this carried on until nearly dawn.

I spent several days with her, never venturing too far from the ocean and her safety...

Duty has now taken me away from the beach...away from her and this morning, I am without without her shimmering and glistening skin to look upon and admire, without those firey blue eyes from which I am able to draw so much power from, without her silky voice and the laughs that make my heart sing.

I am sad and feel empty...and long to return to her...and the ocean. When will I see her again? When will my heart dance again?

The mermaid was My Dearest...Elizabeth.

Mermaid Me...

Sweet Souls~

 Hello! Just a quick note to say I'm in Florida and having fun splashing in the sea! As I type, the waves are waiting for me to dive in for my daily sunset swim. I'll be back soon to share what all this mermaid madness has inspired in me!

Oceans of love,

~mAgiCaL mOoNsToNeS~

 Under this glowing and glittering Aquarian moon, I send you the brightest of blessings...

xOxO,

Integrity...

 

Dear Hearts~ 

How are each of you? Being well, I hope. I'm curled up under my favorite blanket with my new Sony laptop resting strategically on a tiny pillow. I feel so grateful to be snuggled up in my soft and fluffy bed. As I drift off to dream tonight, I'll be thinking about a buzz word that seems to be swirling (and yes, just for the record...swirling is my favorite word ever & hence the reason why I use it 10 times a day and in almost every post I write!) around me lately...INTEGRITY.  

It makes me wonder...why so many people lack it? By no means am I trying to come from a holy-than-thou-place-of-self-righteousness...because God knows that I am not perfect. I do, however, wonder how so many people are able to live with themselves while intentionally hurting others by being purposefully dishonest? Why must there be so many unawakened souls sleeping walking through life completely oblivious to how their selfish actions might contribute to another persons pain?

For most people, there is a moment just before you act out in a way that might be harmful to others, that causes you to think. It's that still small voice that tells you that you're about to step from a light-filled from a place of integrity to the dark side of dishonesty. The undeniable tug on your heart string that alerts you that you are dangerously close to betraying yourself by going against the highest part of your heart, and that you're dancing on the edge of irreversibly hurting yourself and/or others.

While I hold compassion in my heart for people who make mistakes and who earnestly try to learn from them...it's a whole different thing to accept people who repeatedly live in ways that are consistently less than honest. You know...those people who seem to have the "honesty/integrity chip" missing??

I'm beginning to realize that unfortunately not all people have a "Jiminy Cricket..Lord High Keeper of the Knowledge of Right and Wrong, Counselor in Moments of Temptation, and Guide along the Straight and Narrow Path"  hanging out on their shoulder. Well, actually they do. Everybody has a conscience. It's just too bad that not everybody's mindful enough to actually live by it.

Until now, I have been kept super-naturally guarded from the harsh lessons of betrayal, dishonesty, and deceit. I've naively assumed that those closest to me held the same moral and ethical beliefs that I do and that they too, strived to reach the same spiritual standards of love, truth, honesty, and respect that I've committed my life to explore.

I guess I'm stuck on the word, integrity because in truth, it's what I'm searching for most in my own life right now. I'm looking for it within myself, in my all of my relationships (past, present, and future), in my friendships...and even in my girls. I'm craving painfully honest, direct, open, and raw relationships that are grounded in trust.

Interestingly enough, it's been through my own life lessons in recent months which has helped me to give birth to a new purpose regarding my own children. I've re-committed myself to teaching them that it's not what they do when they may have earthly eyes upon them, but the integrity they keep in the moments of truth when only the eyes of the universe are watching.

My greatest legacy will be the beautiful souls I hope to send into the world with sound character and strength, so as not to hurt others the way that I have seen and felt in recent days.

Oh, how many hearts could be spared, if only everyone let their conscience be their guide...

With huge hugs and sweet cheek angel kisses,